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Take these chances..
place them in a box until they quiet in time.
You can find me here...


Current Mood: chipper chipper

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My last temp assignment ended and a new one begins.

I’ve been pressing labels onto multivitamins and over the counter drugs for nursing homes, and I just have to say, gawlee, it’s been a life changing experience.

Mostly, it’s been exhaustingly boring and filled with the cast and crew of Napoleon Dynamite.

Napoleon himself acts in the body and soul of one Roger, who may truly believe that women prefer exaggerations and false notions over anything else. We had worked at Sylvania together and I remember him doling out tales of fighting a group of 20 Mexicans single handedly and things of the like.

He actually had the gall to repeat that particular spin to the little group and I held in a snicker with the memory of how his stories went down at the other job. When I spoke of a co-worker, Shane, he smiled and stated that he’d liked him, yet I specifically remember that he’d picked on Roger day in & day out. I’d even argued with Shane to lay off the poor guy, even if he was poking fun nonchalantly. It’s obvious that Roger hadn’t realized that Shane couldn’t stand him, or just liked the attention that he’d given him.

We have Pedro standing in as Raphael. Instead of the quiet, humble Mexican immigrant with big dreams, Raphael is a loud, bitter and overzealous Dominican with the ability to pass out political and personal judgments in a single bound. I’m the type that can’t walk out of an argument, even if it’s with a self proclaimed communist with opinions that aren’t backed up by fact. I may have given up, however, when he tried to tell me the Evolutionism was not the same thing as Darwinism. The last time I checked, Darwin was the first and only scientist to peg the “Theory of Evolution”. I’m not saying that I buy into the theories in their entirety, but I do know the facts of the case.

The other character in the group is Chip’s internet soul mate, Lawfandah. Her name isn’t as bold, she’s probably 30 years older and not looking for a goofy white boy to transform into a goofy white boy with gold chains. But if she’s any Napoleon cast mate, that would be the one. Alberta is the New York girl with opinions that only relate to her lifestyle. I like her, despite the fact that I’m not a home slice from the big NY, she’s relatable.

To speak of the job itself would be a bore, so I’ll just leave it at what I’ve previously said. The most interesting part of the ‘assignment’ is the people, and like the movie I've referenced, they’re as educational as watching paint dry, but funny none the less.
Hey, it’s a job and it’ll do for now.

Current Mood: disappointed disappointed

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Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret...

He said that he wasn't using me for sex. I'm supposed to believe that he wasn't using me for something. Now I'm used up and I'm useless. What's new.
How am I supposed to react? Is it okay for me to feel like such a piece of shit because I allowed him do it?
He's a selfish bastard and everyone has been telling me that, but I guess I needed to find out... again.

I knew he was a selfish bastard when he ignored me, yelled at me and hung up the phone when I was pregnant and intolerably depressed.

I knew he was selfish when he was sleeping with me and knew that I was still fragile, left me without a word... only to flaunt a new relationship around in my face.

I knew he was selfish when he wouldn't bring me to the hospital, and when I finally did go to the hospital I found out that I had Pnuemonia.
I knew he was selfish when he told me to call him only when I got better.

I've known that he was selfish each and every time he has let me down, from the very little things to the big.
I've known that he didn't care about me, yet something inside is always empty when he's been around and leaves. It's like a black hole and I just don't know how to fill it.

I let him in. I fucking let him in and it's my fault. He told me nothing but lies and I half believed him. I only half believed him but it was enough.
He pushed his way in and I let him.
I let him.
And now I'm in Hell, I'm all alone and nobody cares.
He used me again....
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